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been quite a long time since i last post. dont really feel like doing it. not happy at all. none of the things work well for me.work relationship. everything is going down the slope.

cos of my stomach problem going to loss my job.

i dont know why no matter what i do end up sure quarrel. im really really tired. why cant my relationship be just smooth... why so many problems. i know he changed alot. i dun even know what im to him anymore. so many things running in my mind. i know im not that perfect, bad past. he will never be happy, even happy guess only for that few hr? now cant even have a proper conversations. talk awhile jiu quarrel liao..bro ROm ..they ask me wan invite him.i so wish to invite.but after a thought i jus ans him not going to invite. like what he say,he not that type who invite he will go, and i know he wont want to see my family. already 1 yr plus le.things still the change.am i going to make a decision? or what? i really no idea. i never had something like this,make me so xin ku . how i wish things could turn back. and i sure wont make so many stupid mistake. pls start all over from 13 yr old again!!!

♥ simply jovin ♥

2 days never meet up with my baby le..

and yup...meet up with him..in fact ..now im with him..hehe...baby tml got exam.so we came to ridout mac for his revision and im usin my lappy. baby look sick today=[ guess he down with flu...

mm....time like pass so fast.next week is the day we together for 11mth le..yeah..goin 1yr liao..mm..if i still cant get a job.i dun have the money to buy baby anniversary present le..and in my mind i already know what to get for him le..yesterday went down taka to pass my working time sheet.and happened to see that...a perfect gift for him^.^ hope my baby will like it...

update again!! PEK CHEK!!!!!!!!!!

♥ simply jovin ♥

WHAT A BAD DAY!!! SIGH..MY DAY IS TOTALLY SPOILT BY U!!! FUCK UP!!

DAMN HATE EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW...

NONE OF THE THINGS IS GOING THE RIGHT WAY..WTF WTF WTF!!!! BAD MOOD JIU SCREW EVERYONE UPSIDE DOWN.. DAMN IT!!! SAY TILL LIKE WE ARE BORN TO BE NO GOOD...MIGHT AS WELL DUN BORN ALL OF US OUT BETTER...EVERYDAY SCOLD SCOLD NOT..U ALL NOT TIRED IM SUPER TIRED OK..KEEP COMPARE WITH OTHER PPL CHILD..AND UU LA HOR...STUPID..ALL OF U.. WE GOT SCREW FOR NOTHING...

SUPER BAD MOOD NOW..GOING OUT LIAO!!

TO BE CONTINUED...

IM JUST A TROUBLEMAKER!!!!

not for once i did anything right..

cny still quarrel with him..sucks rite!! i know.. and tis time round for sure he gonna to ignore me for weeks or even month.i already prepared for that.i deserved it!! if only i had a chance to turn back the time.i wish all these wont be happening in the 1st place. sometimes i feels that he dont really understand my feeling and thoughts. our mindset is totally way too far... or we are coming to an end? tis few days im carryin a fake mask with me everywhere i go. just tryin to hide my saddness. why cant i do anything right? for years....im still the same. he is right. from the start i never change at all. till now im still a troublemaker. he deserve a better gal compare to me..all this period of times. what actually did i do to make him happy ? i think none? even if i do that something.turn out to be an unhappy day as well. full of thoughts!! im just a piece of shit!! if ever i could choose.i rather to be gone forever or vanish in this entire world..so i wont make ppl around me so miserable and worry for me. SIGH!!!

♥ simply jovin ♥

我好不开心！！！

错的永远都是我！！！

活在这世界真的好累！！

没一样是我做对的！！

自从那天事后，就没有任何事会让人看的顺眼。没有任何事是被称赞的！！

我真的累了！！ 爱情没成功过， 爱的好累，我只是他的负担，给他麻烦，不开心。

♥ simply jovin ♥

after so many things had happened.today then i realized that indeed everything had changed and im the one who let everything turned this way.no matter what i tell u now.he wont bother.and for once he told me before. when he started to bother means things is not that smooth anymore. sigh. im such a failure.never for once did a right thing to make him happy.always make him angry and upset.even now i tell him im goin sing with my friends he will think that im goin drink? now he tell me things i ans with an answer he will think im just sayin for the sake of saying. last nite tell him that i wanna go try apply for courses in poly see i can get in ma.and he says up to me.i wan do what i do. so...now no matter what i going to do he not going to bother anymore.sigh...dunno what to do. trying so hard to change myself. controlling my anger control try not to scold all those unpleasant words.. no matter how much he says even im angry i just keep it to myself.and today i scold him F it. just cannot agree to his words.and i jus sign out from msn.ARGHHH..... now i think back.maybe the arrangement i made for his bday he wont be that happy too. though its not that expensive dinner.but i guess... none of the things i do he will be happy.just like what he says did i ever do anything he wil be happy? no i guess...

lots lots of thoughts.

9 mth together liao. status still remain the same. til now he never for once put our photo. and i know. only in the middle of nite then he will ride me go wait at his blk area.if not in the day time he will just let me wait at other side..which i really hate it.. maybe its my own probem thats why he will do this. till now im still remain as unknown. bad tuesday!!!! going to bathe and goin poly open house..after going to do other stuffs...FUCK UP DAY!!!

♥ simply jovin ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!!

the best birthday ever in my life ♥

went to work as usual...but is a good day for me..keep wondering what surprise baby will give me ..hehe...after work went buy 4d..but that auntie pissed me off.. =.= super rude also.but nv spoilt my day.. after tat quickly went home and prepare myself ..as wanna meet baby asap.. lalala.. baby pick me up at my house area and went to marina square... in sms i only know he says bringing me for buffet..mm.. when reach then i know that he bringing me to mandarin oriental for buffet..WOW!! he always surprise me with things i never think of de..notti boi...but im so happy...enjoy the dinner alot..and baby surprise me with the cake as well..omg.so many surprises...simply love him so muchh.... next mth his bday liao..going to surprise him too..=p but dunno how..sians.

♥ simply jovin ♥

is such a bad day for me..sigh

tot for tis week i could be happy.cos xmas week plus my bday week.guess i totally ruin it myself.

today at work got one uncle say im so fat.thats so hurt lor plus angry ..feel like slappin that uncle.stupid...then got another man.more worse.sit down there dunno doing wad. miss the number for so long still so attitude..asked for his pub card..then scold me..wth. BAD DAY!!!!!!! then baby till now still ignoring me.sigh.dunno how also.havin such a bad flu also.throat so pain now.arghhh...sucks to the max lor..so tired.think going cook maggie mee for dinner.think goin to sleep early too as well.SIGH!!! stupid me.ruin everything....

♥ simply jovin ♥

sigh.. always do mistakes. never for once i did it rite.

>today make baby angry again.SUPER SIANS!!!

tot i could jus happily go buy a dress for my bday to surprise him.ended up i did it wrong.

and the dress i bought .i think its not that nice .sigh..now he kind of ignoring me.arghh.. jus few more days away.tot i will be happy.but its not.dunno wad i should do.hai.hope tml he will wont be tat angry le ba... sorry baby. i shouldn talk to u in that manner. jus wanna surprise u.and u are really important to me.stupid me...always make u angry.=[

♥ simply jovin ♥

happy weekends!! ^^

meet up with my lovely baby for both of the day.lalalala...
today went back salon ask why my hair like tis.end up redo abit also like no use.toopid..but nvm.meet up with baby.. went T3 for his revision..so cute hor..hehe..had hong kong cafe for dinner.then went coffee bean to study...so sad.bring lappy end up cant connect to the wireless..mm..then went slackin session after that again.. love it so muchh.. that the moment we really happy and enjoy. how i wish everyday can just be like tis ^^ time to sleep.another week goin to start. hope next week got more days to meet up with baby. another week my BDAY le...baby say he already have plan le.but dun wan tell me.HUMPH...
yesterday after work went home change and went do reborning at my house there.but its a regrets. wont visit that salon again. not that straight lo.nvm.cut also not even.wth. but nvm.baby came to look for me.thanks little sis to pei me for so many hr over there =) after send little sis home.went united square with baby.as he wanna do revision for his upcomin exam...so ate mac for dinner.hehe... i so bo liao..haha..do some cute things..lalala...then went slacking session after his revision...enjoy every moment..haha..home sweet home after that

♥ simply jovin ♥

omg. today overslept.end up didnt go work.sians.dunno if the staff there will say behind my back ant.im like a problematic person.=[ woke up in the afternoon. bathe and meet up with baby.pass him the present my bro gf bought for him for thanks him for the lunch at sakae sushi.hehe. marina south pier for lunch.a bad choice i made.T_T sea sick..wanna go riverboat for lunch.but i have tis motion sickness..end up have to takeaway ..hehe..but still enjoyed the lunch with baby..hehe..1st time we ride in the rain.omg.super super wet..haha... overall.. awesome day. but feel guilty that i didnt go workT_T have to sleep early...have to eat medicine again.headache+ stomachache.ARGH!!! kill me ba.. 2more hr to our anniversary.hehe..
LAOGONG!! HAPPY ANNIVERSAY.MUACKS!!! ^^

♥ simply jovin ♥

been like a month since i last update my poor blog..
today make my baby angry T_T my fault sia...im sorry!!
but after all, baby still dote me alot. always give me surprises. monday came to wait for me end work,then bring me go turf city eat steamboat. so happy^^ eat till full full lo.. somemore some cant finish..haha..then hide here and there. then went gaint sales walk walk.and both of us so funny. keep smell this and that..end up both bought the same lotion..lalala..happy to the max... then went slackin session b4 he send me home..
thursday went ttsh for appt.then baby told me he not coming.so i went down with mandy and wei lin.while im waitin for my number to be called by the doc.baby suddenly called me..haha.ask me where i am etc..haha..then when i turn my head i saw baby.omg.so touched.^^ after appt. went square 2 for lunch at sakae sushi. baby treats. thanks my dear.love u so much..
few days ago talked to baby in msn.and we talked about all the funny things we did before..haha..like we fall down together at new home there..wahaha....lucky nobody see it.=p love to spend the day at beach with baby.nice slackin session.though have to set the the tent abit ma fan.but baby dont mind it.just set up everything himself..hehe..simply love him so much. though quarrel alot.but i really hope i will change my temper abit so baby wont be so upset.=[
bad bad me!!!

♥ simply jovin ♥

been awhile since i last blog. tis period of time theres so much things happening . Good and bad... But unhappy stuff is much more then happy moment. Recently just got a temp job. Glad that they extend me till next yr so I won't be slackin till new year. Dunno for what reason baby ignoring me for 3 days liao.... maybe is cause he thinks that I listen to my friend more then him... But I dunno what's the real reason behind it.. Its kind of upset. Tml is our anniversary le.. Should be happy but I'm not. Feel so uneasy. can't reach him at all . Arghh... Why always before our anniversary sure quarrel de... Sometimes his words is so hurtful . Dunno what I should do. The more I wanna treasure it the more I feel he is gettin further from me... at times I will compare myself to lots of things that only will make myself upset. So tired of relationship . Why mine will never success no matter how much I tried or am I fated to be a failure for my relationship . Sigh....
Few days ago... Bro find me to discuss something. And baby is the 1st one I wanna share with. But sadly. Can't reach him at all....guess its gonna be a bad week for me...

sometimes wonder izzit worth doing so much things? am i really that selfish? had a agurement with baby. sigh. feel so upset. no matter how much i try to change its still the same.my past is always there.ex always in the topic. he never satisfied with. always unhappy about my stuff always upset about my past. sometimes i will rather he leave me, at least he wont be so upset like now.though i will be very sad.but i dont wanna see him like now,always thinks alot and cant feel that he is happy anymore. i know he is very tired.just wanna meet him and lend him on shoulder to rest on.wanna sayang him.end up he ask me to spare a thought for him.sigh. suppose to be happily do present so i can give him in time on our anniversary next sat. but now i totally no mood to continue. just like wad my sister and ling say. why do so much where by its just half yr. i know why they says so.cause its just unofficially half yr relationship. am i very stupid? knowing that it wont be the outcome i want and im just stupidly cling on . maybe he is right. so early go book for what. also dunno if that day really will go there for dinner. i know my past matters alot to him.scars on my hand matters alot either.if time could simply turned back, how i wish i can erase everything .or maybe i could get killed in that accident. so i wont meet him and i wont bring misery to him. see him like tis im not happy at all.feel so guilty. few months already. he nv happy again. im such a failure. nothing goes my way. am i going to loss him soon?

♥ simply jovin ♥

what a wednesday for me.

dont like it at all.

dunno why always like tis.one day can be so happy next day unhappy again

not a nice lantern festival tis yr.bro and gf went oversea.cousins love busy.sians.

cant get to see my baby either. super upset with my baby today.

miss his ftt.yet dun wanna tell me what the reason.sometimes i so pissed. what also dun wanna tell me.end up what i also dunno.today he so weird.keep tel me what last time last time.sense that there going to be someth bad happening soon. sigh. UPSET!!!!!!

today keep headache.stupid.end up i become liar again.HAI!! tml have to wake up go down ah ma house.cos got renovation goin on.hope to see my baby asap tml .haha. going to secretly buy tian qi fen for him.ask him buy for so many days yet he ignore.going to bite him.think tml goin house opp and get it for him. thats all for the day ba.awaiting for oct to arrive.^^

♥ simply jovin ♥

today the most happy day for me..hehe...

my 1st jb trip with baby. happy to the max.

baby pick me up at my place here and park his bike at central there and we took train to kranji. hehe.. 1st thing we reach there is to go eat the curry fish head.ji yummy lor...hehe... then went city square walk walk.then decided to watch movie.haha..watch piranha at 3pm.hehe...damn er xin lor..gross..haha.after movie wanna go take neo print de.but its kind of ex then in here..so walk around then dunno wad to do so went watch another movie at 550.a thai movie.not so nice .but overall still arlight. ^^ after that went eat our dinner and headed home after that. abit unhappy.cos i wanna buy the case but baby always say not nice de words. sigh.and i nv change money.so nvm. dun wan everyth use baby money. 1st time baby took off the ring for so long.damn damn sad=[ but nvm.... baby send me home after that.. ^^ havin headache now.going to rest soon.*yawn*

♥ simply jovin ♥

a bad sunday for me.

happily mode go meet baby.end up both black face.

sometimes i really dont know what u want from me.

in ur phone my name is just yan jun. and u control me so much.

i just accept it. i dunno who am i really to u. im starting to tired of all these quarrel. why cant we just be happy just for once. why everyday we have to quarrel over the same old thing. i already decided what i should do . just u wait and see. so upset today. always asking myself.how much do i really know about u.how much do i know if u are really serious with me. having alot of doubts. friends givin me advice but i just choose u. i choose tis path.and i wont regret. i know there wont be a day that i will have any status. didnt asked much anymore.dun even dare to ask too. im totally imperfect. im not ur the gal that u want.dun understand why u will be with me. i dont have the looks nor figure. im just a problematic person. havin a very terrible past which u cant accept at all. WHY? i really no idea.am i being too silly? history going to repeat again? simply hate myself so much. if u never be with me . u wont be so upset and tired now. u will be very happy. my appear make ur life change so much. everything seems so wrong. maybe i should hide from everyone so i wont hurt anyone again. especially the one i love. shall disappear soon. pardon me if i do so. hate to hurt the one i love so much. regrets alot. if tis time really dont works well.seriously im going to put a big full stop.

♥ simply jovin ♥

didnt blog for weeks again.

so lazy lor...got so much things happened recently..

work for so long 1st time being sacked.omg.thanks to that big boobs auntie.argh!! bites.

in future work mus careful of this type of ppl.will cause ppl to death de. =[

things never work out well for me and baby.. sigh. i really dont know what i should do. sometimes explain more mistakes more.sigh.now baby ignore me. sians.that goes my sat. sister all ignore me also.say im liar..haii.... BORED!!! shouldn wake up at all.maybe i sleep wake up maybe tml liao. =[

♥ simply jovin ♥

SUPER BAD MOOD!!!!

hardly can get to see him tis month.hopping our wed meeting can be a wonderful day.end up is i hope too muchh.. only can spend half day togther.sigh.so diappointed!!! or am i too selfish? feel so upset!! already dont know what he actually thinking.wonders alot. the more i wonder the more i feel uneasy. i just want a simply normal relationship.dont know why everytime ending is this mess. am i not tat good? or i dont deserve any love from anyone? sigh. think im gonna sleep soon!!!

♥ simply jovin ♥