not feeling so good tonite.

sigh..

sometimes i wonder who am i actually.

why everytime i ask something, u always ans me dunno dun wanna say. what u ask me i all also tell u...sigh. am i really not tat important? kind of upset actually.but going to pretend like nothing happen. dun wan another quarrel again. not sure when tis unknown will become known. or there wont even have tis word known at all. our mindset really kind of different. going to hide things again. will try to be a happy baoabo infront of him.=) hope we can overcome all the problems we having now. can we?

♥ simply jovin ♥

today be my baobao jie de guai baobao..stay at home.=p

wasnt a good day after all...

sigh....

simply hate it so much!!!!

dont know why they want to be like tis.take things without my permission. why mus uu people be like tis. just like a thief.really hate them so much. stop being so 迷信。really bad mood....argh....fuck it sia... keep ask me go with them to their friend there to 算命.wtf. stop acting infront of me as if there is nothing happened like tis. what should i do?

♥ simply jovin ♥

today did something wrong. T_T accidentally slap baobaojie face..and he ignore me...=[

not purposely de..is just my natural reaction. im so sorry baby. feel so guilty now cos he dun really talk to me...i know he is angry and upset..cos i slap him.but i dont mean it de...

sigh..think i having a very narrow heart... must change away this....if not sure alot more things will happen....hope tml i can get to meet up with baobao jie.. though is jus company and waiting.but for me is already enough.=)

♥ simply jovin ♥

today is the day that a story begin 4 month ago.

though its a complicated story.

but jun really treasure jie alot.

but things dont go smooth for us.

shouldn have ask him to go read my blog. end up he found my old blog. a blog i used when i started blogging since year 05. and after he read.he sound weird.and this is what he told me.

原来我一直都在以为，都在认为，原来我什么 都不是。

its so upset to hear this coming out from his mouth. and i didnt even think that he is nothing after all. i dunno why he wanna compare with my exs. i treat him as someone important and he tell me he is nothing after all. dont know what to do.today he wake up and he didnt even drop me a morning msg. and he talk to me in a cold tone. feel like crying . did i do something wrong again? today should be a happy day. but im not. feels that tears are going to roll down anytime. switch off my phone,sign out msn. dont feel like entertaining anyone today. sigh. totally no mood. argh. what should i do?? T_T

but still wanna tell jie :

happy 4 month together.

though we are in tis kind of relationship.im not tat happy cos of what we are in, but overall.i do treasure the day we spent.treasure the time we are together. enjoying everything that we did together,now im making an effort to change for a better life.

杰，你是君的唯一。

♥ simply jovin ♥

simply hate this shit family.

STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT DAMN SHIT ACCIDENT!!!!

stop nagging everyday( ITS DAMN FUCKING IRRITATING)

stop treating me like im a 3year old kid

stop telling me everything that happen in the news

stop telling me this and that what can or cannot do

stop using my aunt to control me

stop taking other people or other house gal come and say

stop calling me everyday to scold and nag

stop all this shit

kind of hate my family.no more freedom.12am? Cinderella? now is the 21st century . . for goodness sake. im live in this shit world for almost 22 year.and yet im still treat like a kid. why must because of this shit accident and treat me like this. now i know what i should and cannot do. not all my friends are bad friends. only that FUCKER!!! people parents dun restrict them.and yet my parents do so. be open minded sia...fuck. now i dun play wait till when? when im 80 or 90? dont take cousin side come say or whatever shit. now is the time i go out and see... stop putting me in that cage or yours.if u really wanna chase me out.by all mean.. for sure i got place to go.and wont depend on uu all.im really tired of this shit family.this cannot that cannot.

wan go holiday with friends,cannot.

go out late cannot.

having a bf cannot.

use com cannot

tell me: WHAT ELSE CAN??

is not say i cant take care of myself. ask me only can go with aunts.how long can i follow them.go with them is so damn boring.cant even enjoy at all. i dont know why have to treat me so different from my bro and sis. cos of tat ACCIDENT?

PLEASE LA.ITS ALREADY OVER FOR HOW MANY YEARS.STOP SAYING ALL THESE ALL OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IF IM DEAD.IZZIT UU ALL WILL THEN STOP SAYING?

IF SO. HOW I WISH I WILL BE GONE ON THAT DAY. LIKE TIS ALL OF U WILL SHUT UP AND STOP NAGGING.

dont always go complain to my aunt.ask her come control me.fuck it.

♥ simply jovin ♥

recently lots of things is happening on me.. actually not really happy....dont know what should i do either. making alot of mistakes.been thinking through whole day...sigh. friends is givin advice. dont know how long all these can last.dont how long im goin to stay in unknown zone. starting to think alot. alot of IF question.argh!!! dont really wan to blog too....sians.... sians of everything.family money. friends. HIM.=[

♥ simply jovin ♥

im really sorry about what i did. yes.im selfish.i didnt go think of how uu feel and i jus do it.i shouldn treat u in tis way.jus too scared to loss u.but now saying sorry is late for everything.sigh...very regrets for all the things i do.... hope that uu can forgive me soon..i miss uu so much...but i dun dare to do anything now.i know i make u very upset..im really sorry baby..sigh.dont know what to do rite now..feel like drinkin..feel like doing someth funny...argh!! feel like crying.... scared that u will leave me just like tis..sigh.... really hope to get ur forgiveness..

♥ simply jovin ♥

I hate :

when things don't go smooth
when things get clearer
When I know where my stand
When I'm just unknown
When I have to hide here and there
when nothing can be known
when I dont gain your trust
When everything seems like an excuses
When everything just a dream

when can I really wake up from this dream?
when is the time I can accept that fact that we are just nothing?

♥ simply jovin ♥

things don't go well for me. things happened almost everyday. but, today i really feel that im super upset heart pain.almost felt the same as that time. lost of way, lost of direction. are things going be the same again? am i doing the right thing? i really no idea.
today i feel so heart pain.cant breathe,feel like whacking or even cut my self again. realize a lots , having plenty of thoughts which i really cant figure it out. its hurtful to finds out the truth. and make me really lost of words. am i going back to that me again?
mind thinking a lot but just lost of words!! what is going on with me?
i don't know what his thinking. feels that he like hiding and dun wan me to know and i jus wanna dig everything out. knowing it would hurts but i jus want know. feels i know nothing about him. and quarrels is like very often nowdays. different thinking. am i really to loss again? am i? no idea. so what if i let go of HIM so what if i forget about HIM.im still remain unknown as usual.no idea when i will become known. i doubt there will be that day. i don't feel good. i don't like being unknown. tears rolling heart hurting.but nothing could be done.
tml onwards i think i know what should i do.

♥ simply jovin ♥

*wonderful Thursday* been a month didnt update liao..alot of things happened..=[ but overall still able to handle.. yst was a awesome nite..went clubbing with my sis and her fren...as a advance celebrattion for her bday.. wanted to open bottle..but quite ex so jia ling say go social house open....1st time there..not a bad place to chill out..=D drink till high and headed back to rebel..lalala...1st time club without JIE..so sad..keep kana bua..=[ stupid guys... reach home around 5 plus..=D finally i had my crab session today with JIE...meet him at novena and headed to changi v... nice nice..gonna bring my sisters there eat soon also..=p somethings make me unhappy..but dun wish to write here..hope things will turn better soon... ♥ simply jovin ♥